Let me open this post by declaring that I am the Worst. Wife. EVER.

Last night we had a bit of a midnight ruckus with Little Miss Sunshine and so we overslept this morning. By the time everyone was up we were running late for academy and Sir Monkeypants and I were rushing round doing all the usual morning jobs in half the time.

We made it barely and I kissed everyone goodbye and wished them a good day then went to help the Little Miss who was whining about something.

Later I was showering while the Little Miss watched a show and in the shower I was reviewing my to do list for the day: grocery shopping blog about pie sort Disney photos make a birthday cake鈥?/p>

OH. SHIT.

It鈥檚 Sir Monkeypants鈥?birthday today!

And I totally forgot! I mean I didn鈥檛 forget in that I planned for presents and cake except I totally forgot this morning and didn鈥檛 even wish him a happy birthday! And his presents didn鈥檛 get opened! And he didn鈥檛 get fawned through love he so richly deserves!

I SUCK.

And also his presents this year suck. I had two totally awesome gifts in mind and do you think I could find either of them anywhere in the city? Anywhere in Ontario even? NO. One of them he knows about 鈥?it鈥檚 a Wii Fit 鈥?and there seems to be some sort of international shortage. You can鈥檛 even order one from American sites like Amazon.com.

I am the kind of person who plans for and shops for birthdays very early (this comes as a huge shock to you all I鈥檓 sure) and I鈥檝e been shopping for a Wii Fit since Boxing Day and there is not one to be found in the entire wide world it seems. WTF Nintendo? YOU SUCK AS WELL.

So on Saturday I went to the mall with the kids and I grabbed the first three things I laid my hands on as presents for him. I hate last minute shopping.

Also I suck.

All I need now is for the birthday cake to get messed up 鈥?it鈥檚 a very complex recipe that I have never made before 鈥?and that will complete the Birthday of Suck. It鈥檒l be legend鈥?ait for it鈥?ry!

Anyway. Pie.

Last week鈥檚 pie was a gift for FameThrowa since we missed her birthday (it was the day we left for Disney). I brought it to Ladies鈥?Poker on Saturday and I think it鈥檚 safe to say that it was a large hit 鈥?definitely the best pie I have made to date.

It鈥檚 a butterscotch pie which was my Nana鈥檚 specialty and this one definitely rivalled hers. I鈥檓 so happy!

Speaking of pies did anyone want me to post the recipes I am using here? Or would you prefer to just marvel at the magic without the details and pick out your favourites for the upcoming pie party? Let me know.

The butterscotch pie is another pre-baked pie crust pie with a chilled filling. It was also my very first attempt at making meringue.

Here鈥檚 the baked crust:

<img src="ajax.php?mod=image&code=src&item=thread&item_id=16994&url=aHR0cDovL2Zhcm01LnN0YXRpYy5mbGlja3IuY29tLzQwNjUvNDM0MDgzODQ2OF9mZWQwMTAyZmMwX28uanBn" alt="butterscotch pie crust" width="450" height="301"/>

This one turned out okay. I鈥檓 very happy with my pastry recipe which at the moment is 1 cup cake and pastry flour 1/3 cup lard and 1/2 tsp salt with no more than 2 Tbsp water for mixing. It rolled out great but as usual I had trouble lifting it off the counter 鈥?it was stuck down. Next time I鈥檓 going to try to roll it out on parchment paper and see if that helps.

Also I totally forgot to prick it all over before baking but I did weigh it down with mung beans so I guess that was enough to minimize shrinking. I used a piece of parchment paper to line the shell to prevent the beans from sticking and I made the paper circle by tracing the pie plate with a black marker. Then I put the paper in the pie plate marker-side-down so if you seem carefully at this pic you鈥檒l see a weird black line running around the top of the crust. It鈥檚 marker transfer.

Oh yes I AM JULIA CHILD.

Anyway. I was scared of the meringue but it turned out to be very easy 鈥?thanks to my mixer 鈥?and delicious. Here鈥檚 the finished pie:

And here鈥檚 what it looks like on the inside behind being demolished by hungry poker ladies and also a bit squished on the car ride there: